About This Booklet
How much of the warfare and difficulty endured by the average Christian is rooted in self-cursing born of self-hatred? Fortunately, overcoming self-hatred is easier than we think thanks to the victorious Life of Jesus Christ!
“The word ‘as’ in ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’ means that you probably won’t ever love anybody if you don’t love yourself. And God taught me how to do that on the right ground. He created that love inside of me, and I began to purely enjoy being me.”
Martha Kilpatrick, Overcoming Self-hatred
Do you enjoy being you? Do you have grace for yourself when you make mistakes? Do you make godly choices when it comes to the nurture of your body and spirit? The answers to these questions reveal far more than you might think. Far too many of us nurse a hidden hatred in our hearts: the hatred of ourselves.
Overcoming self-hatred enables you to truly love others!
“God began to show me that I had been plagued for years with self-hatred. I would make a mistake and say to myself, “You idiot!” I would get so frustrated with myself. When things in my life collapsed a bit, I would say bad things about myself. “You are so stupid!” I didn’t understand what I was doing to myself: I was cursing my own life. As I saw God’s view, I began to repent of this self-hatred. I repented of wishing I could be different, of always demanding better of myself. And I saw so clearly that the more I hated myself, the more I failed. When you curse yourself over and over, you will fail.”
Martha Kilpatrick, Overcoming Self-hatred
Martha’s booklet Overcoming Self-hatred makes crystal clear the truth that no believer has the right or the permission of God to hate himself. We do not get to make hateful proclamations about ourselves with impunity; the consequences are very severe. How much of the warfare and difficulty endured by the average Christian is rooted in self-cursing born of self-hatred? Fortunately, overcoming self-hatred is easier than we think thanks to the victorious Life of Jesus Christ. For the roadmap out of hate and into God’s Love and Light, read Overcoming Self-hatred today!
Scott Peck was a psychiatrist who studied the issue of evil. He observed that in the realm of psychiatry there was no true understanding of or practical therapy for evil. His field was completely unprepared to deal with evil because they did not acknowledge that it existed. I remember reading his book, The Road Less Traveled. In it he describes two kinds of people – the character disorder and the neurotic:
“Most people who come to see a psychiatrist are suffering from what is called either a neurosis or a character disorder. Put most simply, these two conditions are disorders of responsibility, and as such they are opposite styles of relating to the world and its problems. The neurotic assumes too much responsibility; the person with a character disorder not enough. When neurotics are in conflict with the world they automatically assume that they are at fault. When those with character disorders are in conflict with the world they automatically assume that the world is at fault.”
It’s been helpful for me to understand there are two types of people, born of making two different choices in life. I’ve met so many people over the years with a character disorder. One woman I worked with went to Emory Healthcare’s Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences clinic to be tested. She was diagnosed as the highest level of narcissism possible. They told her that it is virtually incurable when you are that selfish. I would have been horrified by such a diagnosis, but she was completely cavalier about it. That’s a character disorder.
In the extreme, this is a person who could abuse and even murder another and then blame someone else for the deed, having complete coldness to what they had done. Apart from true repentance and deliverance, there’s no coming out of it. But God wants to help them. He wants to redeem them. He wants to save them.
The neurotic, on the other hand, feels guilty and responsible for everything. I believe that self-hatred is one of the most devastating problems for born-again believers, because believers (for the most part) are neurotics. That’s who needs a Savior, right? The neurotic is the one who knows they need help. Self-hatred is an easy line of attack on the neurotic.
I don’t think we understand how very demonic, dark, and full of self-cursing the disapproval of ourselves is. The things you think and say about yourself in private are destructive. The frustrations with who you are that make you so despise yourself are not benign.
So I write this for all the neurotics out there who have trouble with feeling guilty and never being able to resolve it, who are riddled with self-hatred and either don’t know it or can’t seem to get free of it.
The day I woke up and saw that I was utterly shredded, I began to ask the Lord to restore me. In that prayer, I was really asking Him for repentance. There is never going to be a time in our lives when we don’t need repentance. Every day is new, and every day brings new challenge. Repentance is continual in the believer’s life to stay clean with the Lord.
God answered my prayer for repentance. He began to show me that I had been plagued for years with self-hatred. I would make a mistake and say to myself, “You idiot!” I would get so frustrated with myself. When things in my life collapsed a bit, I would say bad things about myself. “You are so stupid!” I didn’t understand what I was doing to myself: I was cursing my own life.
As I saw God’s view, I began to repent of this self-hatred. I repented of wishing I could be different, of always demanding better of myself. And I saw so clearly that the more I hated myself, the more I failed.
When you curse yourself over and over, you will fail.
Labels are very powerful. Within the family, we instinctively label each other. We just do! I used to say to my children, “Don’t take our label for you. Go and be what you want to be.”
Somebody would come to me and complain about their church, and I would say, “Then go be different. Show them what it should be. Quit complaining and labeling them.”
Labels are dangerous. I labeled myself a failure and then finally became one.
Hatred is purely Satan. There is no person who can hate but from the entity of death, the beast who hates. There is no hatred without a demon. There is no self-hatred without Satan’s unrelenting bombardment of condemnation, accusation, and intimidation to provoke you to hate yourself. If Satan can get you to hate yourself on a consistent basis, you will die from it if you don’t repent. We have to renounce self-hatred.
Self-hatred is the enemy trying to get you to kill yourself because he can’t just murder a child of God as he pleases.
Satan can’t touch you. He can’t kill you. He has no right to you! But if you hate yourself, you will give the enemy the right to take your life…and he will do it. That’s how Satan gets you.
Self-hatred seems like such a normal human thing that we don’t think too much about it. But God orchestrated my life and my experience – including my failures and devastation – to bring a message to the Body of Christ: Do not hate yourself.
Don’t fall for Satan’s trap of self-hatred. Don’t hate what you look like, what you’ve done, what you are not, what you cannot be. Don’t hate anything! Stop and deal with it as sin and an attack from Satan. The entire satanic agenda is encompassed by one word: hatred.
Put any hatred under the Blood of Christ and be cleansed from all of it. Wherever there is hatred in your life, close the door.